Scared

May 6, 2007

What am I doing with my life? who knows.  many would say playing with fire.  And possibly it is true.  I’m too old to risk myself again.  I could barely handle it in my twenties and I feel like I’m  going to have a heart attack now.  I’m such a whimp, but i don’t want to hurt anyone close to me, or more truthfully,  I don’t want to answer to anyone for my actions, don’t want to dissappoint, don’t want to be judged, don’t want to explaing myself,  How can I? I don’t understand anything as it is……  And hurting others not close to me? …………………………  god! what the hell am I doing!!!!!!!!!!!

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