May 21, 2007

i feel lost today. making a great effort to seem my regular cheery self.  can anyone see through that charade.  maybe if  i fake it till i make it, it will work?…  i wonder sometimes in midsts of fear if  the path i follow is wrong for me.  Or as my dear husband says this is  …… pain is your friend and pleasure is the enemy.  maybe……………..or maybe i just need more drugs and i’ll be content. 

i played yesterday in front of a beautiful meadow at a countryside home. the willows were calling me ………. calling me to rock me to sleep under their gentle arms.  i wanted to stay and forget i still had a full day ahead of me.  but, at last we had to leave and after i got myself back on schedule the evening welcomed my tired soul next to the warm body of my clingy yet loving child.  The only one i wanted to be with last night.  So, i’m still here. Another full day.


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